Looking for famous Texas quotes, Texas sayings, and Texas one liners? -Cherie Priest, Texans aint Texans if they arent willing to boast about the state they call home. Happy 70th Birthday! Shes got a bun in the oven.Shes sitting on the nest.Shes got one in the chute.Shes been storked. Collections. Hot as Hades.Hot as the hinges (or hubs) of hell.Hot as a depot stove.Hot as a two-dollar pistol.Hot as a billy goat in a pepper patch.Hot as a summer revival.Hot as a pot of neck bones.Hot as a stolen tamale.Hot enough to fry eggs on the sidewalk.Hotter than whoopee in woolens.Hotter than a honeymoon hotel.Hotter than a burning stump.Hotter than blue blazes.Hotter than a fur coat in Marfa.So hot the hens are laying hard-boiled eggs. Independent as a hog on ice.I dont know you from Adams off ox.Thick as the dew on Dixie.Thick as fleas on a farm dog.Thats two different buckets of possums.Things are going to hell in a handbasket.Come hell or high water.Lord willing and the creek dont rise.I dont care if it harelips the governor.Serious as the business end of a .45.Baptists and Johnson grass are taking over.Hes so slow he could gain weight walking.Out like Lotties eye. May you always wake up in the morning with a smile on your face. "There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why." William Barclay Purpose "I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody." George Burns (at 100 years) Respect "You were born an original. Who are these people, these Texans? Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder. "Birthdays are good for you. If you fill out the first name, last name, or agree to terms fields, you will NOT be added to the newsletter list. Birthday Wishes quotes I'm taking your birthday as an opportunity to thank you for all that you are to me. - Unknown. So dry the catfish are carrying canteens. God bless you. "Texas is a state of mind. Shes frying size.Hes knee-high to a grasshopper.Hed have to stand up to look a rattler in the eye.About as big as the little end of nothing.Half as big as a minute.No bigger than moles on a chigger.Scrawny as Ace Reid cattle.Nothing between the horns and hooves but hide.Thin as a bars ear.Thin as a gnats whisker.Thin as store-bought thread.Thin as Depression soup.Thin as a fiddle string.Thin as a rake and twice as sexy.Flat as a fritter.Scarce-hipped.So skinny she has to stand twice to make a shadow.So skinny you could give her a Big Red and use her as a thermometer.So skinny she shades herself under the clothesline. One day, behind a general store in Central Texas, a firearms instructor in a wide-brimmed cowboy hat reached for the butt of his holster as I approached him for an interview. Read the sites full Privacy & Disclosure policy here. It is time to sing and dance, and it is time for birthday bumps! This digitized version has since been updated to remove offensive lines. After all, you yourself are a gift to earth, so you deserve the best. Kelly Clarkson 0 Copy Texas Sayings - Texas Monthly Here we have compiled happy birthday to me quotes that we thought you might like as you celebrate your special day. Funny 60th Birthday Quotes. Sweet friend, may the joy you bring to others find you as you celebrate your birthday. Happy Birthday. It ought to do so, for no country upon the globe can compare with it in natural advantages. Mike Hall writes about criminals, musicians, the law, and barbecue. Make your friends and family chuckle with these sayings, or make them laugh out loud with funny 60th birthday quotes.Witty quotes can also make great slogans for 60th . The 50 Funniest Birthday Quotes - Curated Quotes Hes got a hitch in his gitalong.Sick as a dog passing peach pits.All stove up.Im so sick Id have to get better to die.Sore as a boil.Her hoppers busted.As full of pains as an old window.Ive got the green apple nasties.He looks like death warmed over.So sick he needs two beds.Pitiful as a three-legged dog. So I got a cake." - Mitch Hedberg, comedian He wasnt born, just squeezed out of a bartenders rag.Drunker than who shot John.Snot-slinging drunk.Drunk as Cooter Brown.Drunk as a skunk.Dont chop any wood tonight; Daddys coming home with a load.Tighter than bark on a log.Ive got the whistlebelly thumps and skull cramps. More pills but more thrills. A day that's filled with happiness. 75 Best Birthday Quotes - Happy Birthday Wishes & Messages - Woman's Day Let's set a date for cake this week. Todays Texas is exhilarating, exasperating, violent, charming, horrible, delightful, alive. Edna Ferber, author, For all its enormous range of space, climate, and physical appearance, and for all the internal squabbles, contentions, and strivings, Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than any other section of America. Texas is Texas. William Blakely, People dont live in Austin to work. In three days, no one could stand him. Joseph Heller, I felt a little guilty about jangling the poor buggers brains with that evil fantasy. 2. -Time Blair, Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called walking. -George W. Bush, Texas is big now, but imagine the size of her as a republic. Always drink upstream from the herd. Courtney Bond is an executive editor of Texas Monthlys Food & Drink and BBQ sections. I feel sorry for you. happy birthday png and psd. -Kelly Clarkson, Sectional football games have the glory and the despair of war, and when a Texas team takes the field against a foreign state, it is an army with banners. Texas is a blend of valor and swagger. Carl Sandburg, Texas history is as varied, tempestuous, and vast as the state itself. Happy birthday, friend! Discover and share Texas Birthday Quotes. I love you so much, honey. - George Burns's funny birthday quote. This Texas saying is better used when something goes wrong. September 23, 2021; by Victoria Hudgins; Inside: Happy 28th Birthday Quotes + Captions. Discover Texan cities, small towns, and outdoor attractions. -James Michener. Tight as Dicks hatband.Tight as a tick.Tight as a clothesline.Tight as a fiddle string.Tight as wallpaper.Tight as a wet boot.Tight enough to raise a blister.So tight he squeaks when he walks.Hell squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams.She has short arms and deep pockets. He told them that for the past 50 years he had sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning. It is time to party! "Get your honky tonk on.". Austin, Texas is the subject of many popular quotes, sayings, and slogans! Birthday Texas Quotes, Quotations & Sayings 2023 - Search Quotes She is part of the Holy Trinity of Trading Post Maximization: Exusiai, Texas, and Lappland. David Courtney, a.k.a. "For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday." John Glenn "A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday, but never remembers her age." Robert Frost "When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. May God give you the wings of valor to soar high and spread your colors. Copyright 2021-2023 - Roaming the USA -- All rights reserved | Made with love in the , 71 Best Texas Sayings and Quotes for Proud Texans. Happy Birthday, my dearest sister. You mean the world to me, on your birthday and every day. Oct 2, 2014 - Explore rosa hernandez's board "Texas birthday greetings" on Pinterest. 30 Birthday Quotes To Celebrate Your Friends and Loved Ones Texas is Texas -Senator William Blakley, You may all go to Hell, and I will go to Texas Davy Crockett, Texas will again lift its head and stand among the nations. See more ideas about birthday greetings, birthday, greetings. AnUnlockedCell Phoneso that you can use a local sim card while here to help navigate public transportation and when youre on the road. 21 Texas birthday greetings ideas | birthday greetings, birthday, greetings A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Today will be another one of those happy, beautiful, fun, and funny nights because we will celebrate the birthday of one of the best people that exists. 10. In Texas, there is a certain honor of being a Texan that is doing something the best that you can. Matthew McConaughey, Texans aint Texans if they arent willing to boast about the state they call home. Anon, The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole world. 29 Funny Birthday Quotes That Will Have You Laughing Out Loud I'm so glad you never act your agelet's have some fun tonight! 50 Fabulous Things to Do in Washington State: Bucket List & Beyond! I wrestle with these questions all the time. All of us are joining in to say, that may the year which your birthday begins, brings all the special things, that mean the most to you. 50 Brilliantly Funny Birthday Quotes For Your Own Amusement If hes not, why embarrass him by asking? John Gunther. What to make of a state that is so focused on itself? "Country roads take me home to the place I belong.". 10 Texas Sayings That Are Quintessentially Texan Base Skill Analysis. Lets shoot out the lights.Well paint the town and the front porch.Lets hallelujah the county.Put the little pot in the big pot.Throw your hat over the windmill.Ill be there with bells on.Ill wear my Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes.Hes all gussied up. I wish you a speedy recovery from all that you lost in earlier years. 10 Texas Slang Words To Sound Like A Local | EnjoyTravel.com Celebrate your birthday with the greatest joy for the priceless gift of life, be filled with joy that brings renewed strength. There's more to come, be prepared and keep thinking big even as you grow older. I always like to pick mine up ahead of time. Texas Stock Photos . They get inspired by them. -John Steinbeck. Pigs get fat; hogs get slaughtered.A worm is the only animal that cant fall down.Never sign nothing by neon.Just because a chicken has wings dont mean it can fly.Keep your saddle oiled and your gun greased.You cant get lard unless you boil the hog.If you cut your own firewood, itll warm you twice.Theres more than one way to break a dog from sucking eggs.Give me the bacon without the sizzle.Dont hang your wash on someone elses line.Do Gods will, whatever the hell it may be.Lick that calf again? On this special day, I just want to let you know that I want to be like you when I turn 70. Texas Birthday Quotes - ShortQuotes.cc Just a small serving. Texans dont bury their failures. Sweeter than stolen honey.Sweeter than babys breath.Sweeter than an old maids dream.He took to you like a hog to persimmons.He took to you like a fish to water.Happy as a boardinghouse pup.Happy as a clam at high tide.Happy as a hog in mud.Safe as Grannys snuffbox.Fair to middling.Pert as a cricket.Soft as a two-minute egg.All wool and a yard wide.Im cooking on a front burner today.If I felt any better, Id drop my harp plumb through the cloud.If I felt any better, Id think it was a setup.Fat and sassy.All sweetness and light.This is so good itll make childbirth a pleasure.Fine as frog fur.Fine as dollar cotton.Fine as boomtown silk.Fine as cream gravy.The porch light is always burning.Long as I got a biscuit, you got half. Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco. -Doc Holliday, When a lady accessorizes in here in Texas, shes selecting caliber, not color. Texas is a place that has provided inspiration to everyone from musicians, artists, singers, painters, and dancers to elites in science, technology, and politics. Dan Solomon writes about politics, music, food, sports, criminal justice, health care, film, and business. 10. State historic sites include the Casa Navarro in San Antonio, Texas. -Jensen Ackles, Texas is like Australia with the handbrake off. This ain't my first rodeo. Shes got some snap in her garters.Hes got plenty of arrows in his quiver.Shes got horse sense.Hes got plenty of notches on his gun.Shes a right smart windmill fixer.He could find a whisper in a whirlwind.Theres no slack in her rope.Hes a three-jump cowboy.He can ride the rough string.If she crows, the sun is up.This aint my first rodeo. "I think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world." - Tommy Tune. 130 Happy Birthday To Me Quotes, Wishes, Sayings & Messages Don't bother what anybody else has to say, you have changed my life and I will never forget that. 23 Best Texas Quotes To Fill You With Pride | Kidadl Emily McCullar is a senior editor covering pop culture, news, and Texas history. Individually they may be pretty, but put together, they can stop traffic. Cathy Bonner, Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than any other section of America. And what could possibly be a better way to talk about this state than discussing its funny Texas sayings, quotes, expressions, and jokes? Texans represent many things to the uninitiated: We are bigger than life in our boots and Stetsons, rugged individualists whose two-steppin has achieved worldwide acclaim, and we were the first to define hospitality. Ann Richards, One day, it just dawned on me that Im from Texas, and thats what I am. Sissy Spacek, People from all over the United States can pick Texas out on the map. Birthday Quotes - BrainyQuote May you continue to live this life, blessed and a blessing to others. This one's famous, y'all. May your birthday be as sweet as you are. 1. The 105 Funny get well wishes for friends, mother, father, son and daughter; 35+ Feel Better Soon Quotes; 65+ Get . And all that you would do. If a duck had his brain, it would fly north for the winter.He doesnt have enough sense to spit downwind.If he was bacon, he wouldnt even sizzle.If brains were leather, he couldnt saddle a flea.He carries his brains in his back pocket.Dumb as dirt.Dumb as a box of rocks.Dumb as a barrel of hair.Dumb as a post.Dumb as a wagon wheel.Dumb as a prairie dog.Dumb as a watermelon.He doesnt know come here from sic em.He doesnt know enough to pound sand down a rat hole.He cant ride and chew at the same time.So stupid if you put his brains in a bumblebee, itd fly backwards.If all her brains were ink, she couldnt dot an i.If all his brains were dynamite, he couldnt blow his nose.He dont know which ends up.He dont know a widget from a whangdoodle.He dont know nothing from nothing.He dont know diddly squat.He couldnt pour piss out of a boot with a hole in the toe and the directions on the heel.If he had a brain, itd die of loneliness.So thick-headed you can hit him in the face with a tire iron and he wont yell till morning.He could screw up an anvil. Oprah Winfrey God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. Wishing a happy birthday to my beautiful wife, who never ceases to make each day the greatest! TOP 25 BIRTHDAY QUOTES (of 1000) | A-Z Quotes Happy Birthday to the most lovable and adorable star on this planet. One day, behind a general store in Central Texas, a firearms instructor in a wide-brimmed cowboy hat reached for the butt of his holster as I approached him for an interview. -Katherine Dunn, Only Texas could turn defeat into a legendand a song, and a tourist attraction, and a major motion picture. )Why shear a pig?Dont snap my garters.A guilty fox hunts his own hole.Quit hollering down the rain.Dont rile the wagon master.Better to keep your mouth shut and seem a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.The barn doors open and the mules trying to run. This is really true, this is what happened to us. Her Skill 1 Trading Post buff is one of the highest in the game when paired with Lappland. 70 sounds old, but when I look at you, I still see a lot of youth in you. Kathy Blackwell is an executive editor at Texas Monthly. Wayne Chirisa. I love the fact that Texas is so big, but you dont feel small because of that. Here are my favorite quotes about Texas, including inspiration from poems, literature, pop culture, and quotes by famous Texas authors! -Rosemary Kent, At the risk of descending to unscientific generalizations, 90 percent of Texans give the other 10 percent a bad name. -John Gunther, Im so shook. Honestly, there are so many funny sayings about Texas that you would get sore as a boil after reading them all. Unknown Author. Unknown 118 Likes Birthday quotes Friends quotes Yippee your birthday is finally here. I wrestle with these questions all the time. This is an all-out tantrum with hollerin', feet stompin' the works. May this year be filled with many doors opening to you, and may you reach your biggest goals. It proclaims them. Lets not preach to the choir. Cant dance, never could sing, and its too wet to plow.I could sit still for that.You cant beat that with a stick. It moves into you. When: March 4-5. And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. If you grab enough Texas land, somethin' good is bound to happen. I think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world Choreographer Tommy Tune. I hope you can continue to celebrate the years on my side. 2. Happy birthday to my favorite person who's still younger than me! Texas Birthday Quotes. QuotesGram 0 ; Copy birthday drawing files drawing. May God bless our brothers and sisters in the gray zone. Hes been saucered and blowed.He sure cleaned your plow. He may not be a chicken, but he has his henhouse ways. Here's to another year of pretending we have our lives together. It may be your birthday, but you are a gift to me. What do they tell us about America? He jumped on me like a duck on a June bug.He jumped on me like white on rice.He can blow out the lamp and jump into bed before it gets dark.He gets there in one-half less than no time.Quick out of the chute.Fast as greased lightning.Fast as small-town gossip.Faster than a prairie fire with a tail wind.Faster than a scalded cat.Faster than double-struck lightning.Faster than a sneeze through a screen door.Going like a house afire.Hell-bent for leather.Any faster and hed catch up to yesterday.In a New York minute. Funny 60th Birthday Quotes To Make You Laugh - Darling Quote Check out my Balkan Travel Blog + Oklahoma Travel Blog, 50 Stunning Hawaii Quotes & Hawaii Instagram Caption Inspiration, 101 Quotes about Los Angeles & LA Quotes that Make Perfect LA Instagram Captions, 50 Inspirational Kansas Quotes for Kansas Instagram Captions & Statuses, 101 Gorgeous Quotes About California & Fabulous California Instagram Captions, 250 Inspirational Travel Quotes & Travel Instagram Captions, 101 Fabulous Quotes about New York & New York Instagram Captions, 30 Beautiful Chicago Quotes & Chicago Instagram Caption Inspiration, 13 Inspirational Colorado Quotes & Colorado Instagram Inspiration, The Best Texas Quotes & Texas Instagram Captions. There is a world of country to settle. Red dirt never quite washes out, and pine pollen is tenacious as original sin. Quick Facts FULL NAME: Barbara Jordan BORN: February 21, 1936 DIED: January 17, 1996 HOMETOWN: Houston, Texas ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Pisces Early Life A groundbreaking African American politician,. He shoots off his mouth so much he must eat bullets for breakfast. You cant share Texas quotes without sharing Texans quotes, right? 118 Famous Texas Sayings and Phrases Along With Their Meanings Wishing you a lot of surprises and happiness on your 65th Birthday. 3. - The US death toll from . Your advancement in years is a progression into the plans and purpose of God for you. Best Funny & Humorous Happy Birthday Wishes Lets light a shuck.Its time to heat up the bricks.Its time to put the chairs in the wagon.Its time to swap spit and hit the road.Its time to put out the fire and call in the dogs.Hes heading for the wagon yard.Lets blow this pop stand.That about puts the rag on the bush.Church is out.Thats all she wrote. After you're done reading them, vote for the ones that you've enjoyed the most and share this article with anyone stuck writing a birthday note! 257 points. In the name of the constitution of Texas, which has been trampled upon, I refuse to take this oath. 190 Happy Birthday Wishes for Friends, Family, and Everyone In Between Just fell off the turnip (watermelon, tater) truck.Hes so country he thinks a seven-course meal is a possum and a six-pack.They lived so far out in the country that the sun set between their house and town. -James Michener, For a few precious moments Im back in Old Texas, under a high sky, where all things are again possible and the wind blows free. 200+ Birthday Quotes By WishesQuotes -Lindsay McElwee, Texaswas evidently the only place in the known universe, including Louisiana, that actually got hotter after the sun went down. I will never be able to forget the support that you have given me. Hell eat anything that dont eat him first pretty self-explanatory! Texas is Texas. I love Texas too well to bring civil strife and bloodshed upon her. Texas Independence Day in the United States Birthday Quotes PNG Transparent Images Free Download | Vector Files 100 Best Happy Birthday Quotes & Wishes For Your Wife | YourTango 50+ Best 25th Birthday Quotes, Captions And Messages Herere the best Texas sayings, quotes, and expressions. Confused as a goat on AstroTurf.My tongue got caught in my eyeteeth and I couldnt see what I was saying.I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you.He ran em around the barn.Cattywampus to Miss Joness. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Bday.'. -Sissy Spacek, In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans. I'm so grateful I get to celebrate your special day with you. Happy 60th Birthday. Dan Rather 0 Copy To me, it's really the heart of Texas. Whether quotes about its wide, starry skies or sayings about its rough way of life, Texas has a way of staying on your mind. "Pleas'd to look forward, pleas'd to look behind, and count each birthday with a grateful mind." - Alexander Pope. "Moscow mules and sweet tea.". Texas is an obsession. You were too hard to raise to take chances.Dont dig up more snakes than you can kill.Whistle before you walk into a strangers camp.Dont plow too close to the cotton.A dead snake can still bite.A dead bee can still sting.Dont tip over the outhouse. More Colorful Texas Sayings Than You Can Shake a Stick At Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. -Jensen Ackles, Theres no better place than Texas to start over. John Connelly, In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans. Kelly Clarkson, I truly think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world. Tommy Tune, You can take the girl out of Texas, but not Texas out of the girl. Janine Turner. Texans think big. Phil Gramm, Texas women are like snowflakes. 900+ Texas Clip Art | Royalty Free - GoGraph -Pete Hamill, Texas is a blend of valor and swagger. -Robert Kiyosaki, I was always proud of being from Texas and, you know, maybe that was part of fearlessness. A toast to you, birthday girl! Wishing you a birthday as wonderful as you are. As dark as the inside of a wolf.Dark as coffin air.Dark as a pocket.Dark as a cow.Dark as a blue norther.Dark as the devils riding boots.Dark as truck-stop coffee. Here go some of our favorite Texas sayings. Ron Brackin, I didnt drive eleven hours across the state of Texas to watch my cholesterol. -Davy Crockett, Thats why I like Texans so much. He could fall up a tree.Couldnt ride a nightmare without falling out of bed.He couldnt knock a hole in the wind with a sackful of hammers.So bad at farming he couldnt raise Cain.He couldnt hit the floor if he fell out of bed.Handy as hip pockets on a hog.Worthless as teats on a bull.Worthless as a sidesaddle on a sow.Not worth spit.He couldnt organize a pissing contest in a brewery.Useless as two buggies in a one-horse town.He could screw up a two-car funeral.Tie a quarter to it and throw it away, and you can say you lost something.Hes got no more chance than a June bug in the chicken coop.Hes a day late and a dollar short.He cant win for losing.Hes sucking hind teat.I need that like a tomcat needs a trousseau.Shes itching for something she wont scratch for.Why close the barn door after the horses are out?No more good than an eyeless needle.Like warming up leftover snow.Like pushing a wheelbarrow with rope handles.Like sweet-talking the water out of the well.